I'm getting tired of hearing the exact same thing from every single person I come in contact with these days. "HAVE YOU TURNED IN YOUR PAPERS YET?" Every time I'm tempted to say "No, in fact I've left the church and I'm on my way to set your house on fire." I plan on going on a mission. Don't get me wrong. I'm just not ready at this specific moment to turn my papers in. And one thing is for sure, if by some strange mistake or technicality I was called on a mission and was leaving tomorrow, I would not be ready. A lot of guys are super gung-ho about the whole thing from the get go and would serve a 15 year mission on 10 minutes notice. But I just need a little more time than the average 19 year old. And I don't want to sound like I'm anti when I say this next statement, but Utah Mormons are very judgmental. Just because I didn't turn my papers in the split second I was able to doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean I'm a terrible person, it doesn't mean I'm going to leave the church, and it doesn't mean I am not going on a mission.
I had tithing settlement with my whole family today and the first thing the bishop said was well we just gotta get rid of this one.. I know he's just playing and stuff, but honestly it bugged me a lot. Nobody cares what I think unless it is "I want to leave everyone and everything I've ever known right this second!" I have concerns and thoughts and reasons why I take my time with most aspects of my life. I just have things to sort out before I leave. I think the only solution is to turn in my papers and just change my availability date to May or something. Then people will leave me alone. If I have my mission call in hand I'll be a worthless 19 year old anti-mormon slacker no longer, I get officially upgraded back to a functioning member of Utah society.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
A little bit of an annoyance
Posted by collinhead at 2:44 PM
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5 comments:
AMEN! I could not have said it better!!!
i'm sorry. i'm afraid that i contribute to that a bit.
it's ok, i guess you're not really one of those who ask me every day multiple times a day. and you don't ask every time i see you either.. i don't mind if people are curious, it just seems like some people are purposely being ridiculous.
I may not understand exactly how you feel, but I think I've experienced a shadow of it when I have to answer that question for friends and family of mine. I shouldn't have to defend good people! It's none of your business whether or not they have their papers in, and you don't have the right to look at them differently if they don't!
Ignore folks like that, Collin. You go when you're ready. There's a reason why God knows us personally, namely, because none of us are the same. To know all, He must know each. What is perfect for one person could be detrimental to another. In a less extreme case, not every boy has to go on a mission the second he turns nineteen. Sometimes people can't go at all, and oftentimes the reasons have nothing to do with worthiness, or even readiness or willingness.
Sorry for the longish response. But I feel for you, bucko. Go when it's time for you to go, and not a minute before.
thank you mavis, i really liked your comment. i'm glad i'm not the only person who understands.
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